TRIAL (1987)
  1. Trial
2. Understand
3. Running
4. Never Stop
5. Heal
6. Scared
7. Our Illusions
8. Alive
9. Search
10. [Notes]



One day I awoke to find the sun
Beating down on me
Thoughts and fears filling my mind
The truth was beating down on me

For that day
I stood trial
For all of my lies and denials
For my lack of discipline and responsibility

I awoke and faced my judge
The mirror said that I'm guilty
I could not believe it
As the verdict was passed
The mirror said that I'm guilty

How can this be true

My sentencing followed soon after
My insides torture me
I cannot rest from my sight
I cannot be free
Until it is made right
The trial becomes my trial

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In eighteen years
You have it all figured out
You know the score
What it's all about
Such a short time
But so far to go
You cannot even understand
What you don't know

Eyes wide open
But you cannot see
Their helplessness
Their suffering
Their misery
Then in a contemptuous tone
You proceed to tell me
Fairy tales and bullshit
Of how it should be

It's not that way

Six white walls
Become a rich girl's cage
Sheltered from
Their impoverished rage
Your attitude hurts more than bombs ever will
It's stupidity that kills
Why can't you understand?
(When you're in your white walls
You don't have to see)
Why can't you understand?

You shut your eyes
And close your mind
But that can't hide the shame
Or the pain
I hold you to blame for their pain
You're to blame

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I'm running out of time
Forced to decide
To choose the beat path
Or to feel the wrath
When I take a different ride

There's nothing in this world
That you have to do
To be frightened by tradition
Is a cheap excuse
I, I realize
I, I sympathize
But we can't live with those lies

And you won't always be sure
When your judgments seem pure
Every choice you make
Could be a mistake
But at least they were yours

Complain that you can't win
When you've chosen to fit in
Responsibility's gone
I know that's wrong
Conformity can be a sin

Now I judge on my own scales
So I know when I have failed
The decisions are mine
I'll take my time
Only it will surely tell

I'm running out of time

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The minute, the second
That we stop trying
The moment, the fraction
Of time that we start lying
To ourselves
Is when they will win

You ask me the odds of victory
I can only tell you this
If we stop we dig our own graves
If we stop

It will be the end
If we stop
No, never stop
If we do, it's the end

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Empty, with no respect at all
We expect what's been built
To crumble and fall
Shocked by the indifference
To our unheeded call
I ask you
What do we offer instead?

We cannot change around
Until we change within
To scream and yell and sloganize
Only shields us from our own lies
Without understanding
We offer our own views
What the hell are we doing, rebels?

I am scared by the way you act
Do you always know who is really
Being attacked?
With an unknowing shrug
We go and turn our backs
On the only few things that we have left

Commitment is not measured by
By the months
But by the years
The time to stop
Will not be our first tears
A life spent with more trouble
Time, pain and fear
Is there any way stay
Close to what we hold dear?
Integrity, truth and love is what we need
Rebel, heal thyself

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I say that I love
I say that I believe
I say just a few words
And now that I'm exposed
I look out at you to reach out to
But your heart is kept closed
Hide behind laughter
And a smart-assed sneer
Cover yourself from what you see,
What you see and hear

No, you can't believe
That means you'd take a chance
To reach out
There are small things that we can do
Every single day
To make ourselves heroes
In our own little way

You are scared
(But so am I)
You are scared-so deep inside
You are scared-so you lie
You are scared-so you hide
You are scared-but don't you know

So am I
So am I
I'm scared

There's no exposure in darkness
No change in hate
I want to try to reach to you
But is it too late?

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Will we really live by what we say?
Will we really be open in every way?
I've seen it before, so many times
Must the past be repeated
With all of its crimes?

No, I really believe in what we sing
I'm going to try to live my life
In my own way

Our illusions

It does not have to be that way
Even if change does not come in a day
We have to do all that we can
If not, the blood's on our hands
We're the only one to blame
If we do not dispel our illusions

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The answers won't
Be anywhere but inside
It's the only truth I really know for sure
The only truth they cannot hide

To live is
To fight what has come before
To live is
To struggle and begin again once more
To live is
To fight what has made you weak
To live is
To never find all of what you seek

The past is the enemy of now
To live is to move is
To grow is to learn
Anywhere, anyway, anyhow

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To search for them
Is to never succeed
You can't find
What will never be

Images on the page
No, your life is never that way
Images on the page
Don't you ever think your life
Will be that way

Your comparisons
Are futile tries
At perverted reality
And shallow lies

That is not your criteria
For you to judge me
Don't you ever think
That that is reality

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Dylan Roy-bass
Doug Ernest-drums
Christopher Jones-vocals
Pete Chramiec-guitar, piano

Recorded June, 1987 at Audio Matrix and August, 1987 at Newbury Sound, Boston, MA
Mixed August, 1987 at Newbury Sound
Engineered by Stephen Seltzer
Produced by Verbal Assault

Lyrics by Jones
All music by Chramiec except "Scared," "Search," and "Understand" by Roy.
All music arranged by Verbal Assault

Design: Tom Gorman/VA
Layout/Production: Carla Porch
Photography: Chris Gorman

Thanks to: Carolyn DiPanni, Mark McKay, Steev Riccardo & Giant Records, Stephen Seltzer, Mark Chramiec and all of our parents, Mike Gitter, Dave Stein, Al Quint, 7 Seconds, Positive Force, Jason Traeger, John Reardon, Misi Bennett, Marcos, Kina, all the friends we've made & the cool places we've played across the country, our friends in DC, New York, Boston and our good friends in RI-thanks for the support over the years.

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